Who is the brain?

Evolution is in short; when species of plants or animals change over time to be better fit to changes in the environment they habitat. The change is possible due to a broad range of genetic properties inherited from the ancestors. Different environment and different requirements from the environment stimulates and develop, over time, the different genetically inherited properties.

In other words, if I had been born in Ethiopia (instead of Sweden) and had had to run barefoot, 25 kilometres one way, to get to school everyday, my body would most likely had developed differently.
Either my body had adapted to the running and used the genes making me slim and light, with two big lungs, brown skin to protect me against the sun rays and thick skin under my feet. Or if my body lacked these necessary genetic properties I might have stopped going to school or even worse died from sun burn, dehydration and exhaustion.

Evolution can be slow, it takes quite some generations for the human body to adapt. If the environment changes to fast, we might not be able to catch up and we may die.
On the contrary some insects may adapt very quick from one generation to another. That’s why it has been so difficult for man to terminate insects we don’t like, even if we have used strong poisonous chemicals. Or take the new dangerous bacteria’s that are resistant to antibiotics.

Evolution is interesting but it doesn’t explain everything.
For instance it doesn’t explain where the first form of life started or where the first inherited genetic properties came from. Who was our first ancestor? Why not Adam?

Many times evolution is described with storys about animals, like the fish who needed more food and had to develop the fins into legs to be able to climb up on the shore to get food. Or was it the Lizard who wanted more seafood and developed the legs into fins and the lungs into gills?
These are scenarios I and most people can picture and understand.

Think about a tree instead. The tree stands in the same spot for 50-100 years. Every year it drops its seeds on the ground to multiply. Pretty soon there will be lots of tree-babies around the tree-papa/mama (trees are asexual they multiply without having sex, or?). If the tree is lucky, one of the seeds stuck on a bypassing animal’s foot and gets a lift to a remote location which hopefully has enough soil to grow in.

We all know that trees have no brains at all. But some trees have a smart solution to the problem being stuck at the same spot. They develop nice berries. And in the berries they hide the seeds. Then they lure the little birds to eat the berries and also the seeds. Then the birds fly 10-30 kilometres, in any direction and plant a new tree by passing out the seeds!! That is extremely smart isn’t it? Because these tress will be spreading faster over a larger area. But trees aren’t smart at all; they have no brain, have they?

Who is the brain behind this?

Do mixed couples fight less then not mixed couples?

My mother taught me how to cook Swedish cabbage pudding. I gave the Swedish recipe to my Chinese wife. She cooked it the Chinese way. She put in lots of garlic, some Chinese mushroom and seasoned it with light Soya and probably other “secret” Malaysian and Chinese spices. We ate it with rice instead of potatoes. It was the best cabbage pudding I ever ate.

That is how our marriage works when it’s at its best. We take the best from our different backgrounds, mix it and the outcome becomes new and exciting.

When you get to know a person from a different ethnic origin it becomes obvious to you that it will not be possible to change this person to become like you. She is different and she will remain different, but you love and respect her that way she is. Being different on the outside, makes it easier to remember that we are different also on the inside

Everybody is a bit ethnocentric, this because we all have a tendency to believe we have found the best way to do things, right?
A mixed couple has to be aware that they bring in different values, different traditions and different ways of doing things in to the relationship. Therefore mixed couples can’t take for granted that everything will be done the way they are used too. Mixed couples has to be more sensitive and more willing to find out what their partner think and want to do. What do you think about that? How do you want to do this? should be commonly asked questions in a mixed couple’s everyday life.

So the key phrases that give mixed couples an advantage to succeed with their relationship are:

-Not take things for granted.
-More sensitive and more willing to accept differences.
-Love and respect your partner the way she/he is.

These three phrases can be successfully used by any couple, mixed or not mixed. But the awareness and motivation has to be higher already from the start in the mixed couple.

The most delicate issue a mixed couple will have to deal with is how to raise your children.
Everything you learned in your own childhood, by your father and mother, has shaped your view upon how to raise a child. It will all come out when you get your own children. It doesn’t matter how many books you read, because your own childhood is there, in your spine. Having children can be a tough job. Little sleep and lots of worries will temporarily take you down to a level where skills you got from a book has vanished and the spine knowledge will kick in. You may hear yourself say and do things you never believed you would say, and you will hear yourself sound like your mother and father.

Therefore there are questions you must take up with your partner before you have children. The questions are; how were you raised and how do you want to raise and discipline your children.

These questions are of course relevant to a not mixed couple too.

When I started this Blog I had a vision to make the world more peaceful by teaching the world how mixed couples were successful in overcoming differences. I saw how mixed couples could be symbols as bridge builders over ethnic borders.

A nice vision but I’m not sure I believe in it anymore.
But before I bury my vision I want to know what you think about it?

Do mixed couples fight less then not mixed couples?

Chopsticks VS Fork & Knife

During a lunch at a nearby Chinese Restaurant, while some of my Swedish colleagues were practicing their chopstick skills, suddenly one of my colleagues asked me:”Are you eating with chopsticks at home?”

Since his tone was weird and had a slight clang of indignation I decided to give him a thorough answer.

I said; “yes, we eat Chinese food with chopsticks and western food with fork and knife. Why do you ask?”

The guy looked at me; I could se his eyes rolling and hear the wheels spinning in his head.
He asked: ”Why do you eat with chopsticks when you have fork and knife?” Followed by: ”Fork and knife is so much better than Chopsticks.”

“Are they?” I asked back.

He looked at the chopsticks in his hands and looked back at med and said: “Isn’t it obvious?”

The guy was trying to make an understatement. Maybe something like; aren’t you aware that chopsticks are one step behind fork and knife in the evolution of human eating tools. First we used our hands, and then came chopsticks and on top of the chain there was the fork and knife.

“Eating with chopstick can sometimes be easier than eating with fork and knife.” I said.

The indignation increased. “You can’t seriously mean that chopsticks are more practical than fork and spoon. You can’t cut with them and you must drop a lot more food eating with chopsticks compared to eating with fork and knife.”

“I am serious” I said. “If you eat Chinese food, cooked the Chinese way, with the bowl lifted up in your left hand and the chopsticks in your right hand it can be very suitable and practical.”

“Ha, you just say that because you are married to a Chinese” he replied.

“No, I say that because I mean it” I countered.

Actually this guy was my nearest boss and I didn’t like him very much. I enjoyed arguing with him.

So I continued: “Do you have a problem with that?”

Now I really triggered him off.
“I think its so damn stupid, why can’t people adjust to the customs in the country they live in. Why not accept the traditions and ways we have here in Sweden, is there something wrong with them?"

I waited some seconds to let his words sink in a bit deeper in our audience.

Then I said: “Tell me frankly; if you meet a Chinese girl, you marry her and you move to China with here, would you give up eating with fork and knife?”

He looked at me and realized I got him.

Chopsticks VS Fork and Knife 1-0

Send more black missionaries to Sweden. We need them!

Heard an interesting discussion on the radio today.

The number of practicing Christians in the rich, white, European countries is decreasing. While the total number Christians is increasing in the world.
The increase is taking place in a belt along the equator, around the world i.e. in Africa, Asia and South America.
According to the reporter 2,5 Billion people are Christians in the world today.

The reporter was introducing a thesis, that the rich western world had made themselves independent of God and Christianity. While the poor people in the developing countries still need God to get comfort.
This Swedish reporter had probably not been to many countries around the equator and most likely not visited many churches in these regions. Because if he had, he had also known that these countries has big middle and upper-class’ and a lot of these not poor, and many times well educated people, are accepting Christ in the ongoing revival in these countries. I know, because I have been there and I was one of them!

There was a black African pastor interviewed in the radio program. He had been practicing in Sweden for some years. He told a story about how missionaries from Sweden came to his country and saved people, many years ago. How he was saved and later became a pastor. He had heard that Sweden was a Christian country. The first time he visited Sweden he was very surprised to find out, that the churches were almost empty.
For some reason he had stayed on in Sweden. Now he is a Black ”missionary”, in the white Christian Sweden. Interesting how things change over time, isn't it?

This black pastor was seriously suggesting that Sweden need a new revival. That today’s modern white people will benefit from having a direct dialog with God. Isn't that tickling?

I Love pictures like this one:

Send more black missionaries to Sweden. We need them!

I have been to the English service in a Charismatic Church in Gothenburg in Sweden. There they have black pastors from Africa. I promise you, it is a lot more fun to go there then to go to the Swedish service. Sorry guys, but we Swedes have become boringly self-sufficient and spiritless.

Where are you from?

Interview with Samy 7 years old.
Samy’s Mother is a Malaysian Chinese and her father a native Swede.

Question: Where are you from?
Samy: Mostly from Sweden a bit less from Malaysia.
Question: Why is it like that?
Samy: Because I’m born in Sweden and live here.

Question: If you think of your brain, is it Swedish or Chinese?
Samy: More Swedish and less Chinese.
Question: Why is that?
Samy: My brain is born in Sweden therefore it is more Swedish

Question: And your body where is it from?
Samy: Mostly from Malaysia
Question: Why more from Malaysia.
Samy: I look more Chinese. It just happened like that even if I’m born in Sweden.

Question: And where does your heart come from?
Samy: As much Swedish as Chinese and Malaysian:
Question: How do you explain that?
Samy: The heart is the same where ever you are born.

Question: What is good in being half Chinese and half Swedish?
Samy: You become more beautiful and you learn to speak both Chinese and English. You learn to eat with chopsticks and you get to eat both Swedish and Chinese food.

Question: Anything bad in being half Chinese and half Swedish?
Samy: No.

Question: Have you ever been to China?
Samy: No.
Question: Have you ever been to Malaysia?
Samy: Yes, my Grandma and Uncle live there and in Singapore.

Question: Did anybody ask you where you come from?
Samy: Most people ask where my mammy comes from.
Question: What do you answer to that question?
Samy: Malaysia.

Quiestion: Has anybody asked if you are Chinese?
Samy: Yes.
Question: What do you answer?
Samy: That my mother is from Malaysia.

Question: Do you call yourself Swedish?
Samy: No, Malaysian and Swedish.
Question: Why do you call yourself Malaysian and Swedish?
Samy: Because my mother is from Malaysia and my father is from Sweden
Question: Is that important to you?
Samy: Yes.
Question: Why?
Samy: Because it’s the truth.


Samy is a strong character. She is very sure of herself and very direct, but also very sweet and Lovely.
Samy demonstrates in her answers that she is fully aware of her ethnic mix and double origin. She is actually in full control.
As most kids in her age she shows strong loyalty to both her parents, none of them are favoured. She also makes a point that the truth is important.
She is proud of being mixed though she indirectly saying that she is beautiful and she only sees advantages and no disadvantages with being mixed.

Also note that food is important in Samy's life, as it is in most Malaysians. Right?

Isn’t that inspiring? !!

Political smoke screen to hide discrimination

Election year in Sweden and the Swedish media has highlighted one of “Folkpartiets”, the Liberal parties, points in the program they want the Swedes to vote for.
The Liberal party wants to implement a mandatory test in the Swedish language for all who applies for a Swedish citizenship.
The Liberals introduced this particular issue last election, 4 years ago and the media made it into a controversial issue.
This year’s election, the media again trigger a debate between the Liberal party and the Social Democrats on this issue. The debate is about if this is the right step to take, to integrate immigrants into the Swedish society.

What is this all about? Is this the best the politicians can come up with to develop the human resources of Sweden?

First of all, is there anything at all controversial with this mandatory Swedish test?
If the media bothers to discuss politics with the immigrants and not only with the politicians themselves, I believe the answer would be a simple no. No, there is nothing controversial with a mandatory Swedish test. This is because most immigrants that come to Sweden quickly realise that Sweden is a monolingual country and that the language is one of the keys into the job market and into the society.
USA has had mandatory tests in the English language and mandatory courses in the US history and US constitution for immigrants who want to become citizens for centuries. Do you ever hear anyone questioning that? No, of course not.

This whole debate is a political smoke screen to cover up the real problem, which is the Swedes’ attitude towards immigrants. An attitude that is shared by most Swedes, also politicians and journalists and has its roots in the Swedish self-sufficiency. Sweden is an ethnocentric culture; we do believe we are superior. But we put up a facade showing something else. Ask the immigrants, they experiences this phenomenon every day.

Sweden has for many years had a kind of open door policy for immigrants and refugees. Sweden has due to that become a multicultural society. Immigrants come here, learn Swedish, take degrees in the university and enter the job-market and there they meet the true face of Swedish ethnocentricity.

I’ll give you a true story (names are fictitious):
Evelin Nordström, (sounds very Swedish doesn’t it) is actually a black woman from Zimbabwe. Before she married her Swedish husband Carl Nordström, her name was Evelin Mubuto.
Evelin has lived in Sweden for ten years, has two children 8 and 6 years old. She has studied Swedish and speaks so damn good that people believe she is a Swede when they have her on the phone.
Now Evelin has taken a Swedish degree, in a Swedish university and is applying for a job.

The fact Evelin is having a Swedish looking name and sounding Swedish on the phone has taken Evelin to more job interviews than many other immigrants. But what happens when this beautiful and charming, well educated, well assimilated black woman enters the door to the interview?
Most interviewers were very surprised. So surprised that they forget to hide what they think. The first spontaneous question from the interviewer may be; “you must be adopted?”

This question is very interesting and illustrates very well the Swedish ethnocentricity. Swedes have no problem with people with different ethnic origin if they have been adopted and taken to Sweden as babies. This is because these adopted children become exactly like native Swedes. They have Swedish parents; go to Swedish nursery school and so forth. These adopted children think like Swedes, feel like Swedes, speak like Swedes and behave like Swedes. The only difference may be the colour of their skin.

The question, “you must be adopted”, is asked by the interviewer to be able to put Evelin in the right box. The Swedish box or the immigrant box. So, when Evelin tells the truth about her background she will be put in the immigrant box.
When you end up in the immigrant box you will have a different treatment. All the “fear questions” will be brought on you. What kind of background do you have? Where are you coming from? How much do you really understand about the Swedish work environment? How will you interact with your colleagues? How will you interact with our customers?
Can you be a threat? Will you fit in or can you be a problem?
Suddenly your competence and personality has become secondary.
Dear politicians and media professionals, this is discrimination. This discrimination is a part of the Swedish system and this is the real problem.

Don’t try to tell me I’m exaggerating. This is reality, our immigrants live with it daily, we the Swedes don’t see it or we deny it.

Another example:
My wife has lived in Sweden for eight years. All the time she has been a home worker (hemmafru) taking care of our growing family. My wife has a university degree, has 10 years work experience abroad, speaks 5 languages. She has never applied for a job in the Swedish job market but she has anyway understood how the system works. Therefore she is mentally preparing for the day she will start working outside our home. She knows already it may be the restaurant trade or something else along that line.

There’s nothing wrong with the restaurant trade. But it’s wrong of the Swedish society and the Swedish employers to not take care and not take advantage of Sweden’s fantastic Human Resources. Our fear, ignorance and self-sufficiency are stopping us from that.

The Thorax Code

Once I heard a Stand-up comedian rip of the following story:

“God created woman from one of Adam’s ribs. There is something wrong with this scenario, do you know why?

The skeleton of the human thorax has twelve ribs on each side. If God took only one of Adams ribs, from one of the sides of the thorax, there should be one short on one of the sides, shouldn’t it? I’m counting my ribs before sleeping every night and try to understand how this makes sense. If man donated one of his ribs to create woman there should be one missing.

So why didn’t the guys writing the Bible think of that? Did they just leave out some not so important details? Were they too old and didn’t hear so well, what God told them to write? Did some pages disappear from the script during the long history of the Bible? Or did they have something to hide?

My idea is that God actually took at least two ribs from Adam, one from each side. And if God took two, it’s also possible that he took four ribs or six ribs, isn’t it?

So, why would God take so many ribs from Adam and why could there be a reason for some Bible writers to hide that?
Remember that God saw that Adam was bored and God wanted to give Adam some company. God is generous and God is the master of diversity. So, why would God give Adam only one woman?

I suggest God gave Adam 6 women, one black, one brown, one red, one yellow, one white and one albino, all to make Adam happy.

Now suddenly it make sense why we have different colours of our skin, doesn’t it.

God told Adam; “Go out and multiply”. And yes, Adam did a great job, didn’t he?
This could have been the problem for the Bible writers. Maybe they were all white men and maybe they all had a problem with Adam having such a good time fulfilling God’s plan.”

Whatever you think and feel after this story I can tell you that the Stand-up comedian is a genuine believer and the story is made to provoke. Not only to provoke racists in general, but specifically racists within the Christian community itself.

What do you think; did the Stand-up comedian succeed with his mission?