Do mixed couples fight less then not mixed couples?

My mother taught me how to cook Swedish cabbage pudding. I gave the Swedish recipe to my Chinese wife. She cooked it the Chinese way. She put in lots of garlic, some Chinese mushroom and seasoned it with light Soya and probably other “secret” Malaysian and Chinese spices. We ate it with rice instead of potatoes. It was the best cabbage pudding I ever ate.

That is how our marriage works when it’s at its best. We take the best from our different backgrounds, mix it and the outcome becomes new and exciting.

When you get to know a person from a different ethnic origin it becomes obvious to you that it will not be possible to change this person to become like you. She is different and she will remain different, but you love and respect her that way she is. Being different on the outside, makes it easier to remember that we are different also on the inside

Everybody is a bit ethnocentric, this because we all have a tendency to believe we have found the best way to do things, right?
A mixed couple has to be aware that they bring in different values, different traditions and different ways of doing things in to the relationship. Therefore mixed couples can’t take for granted that everything will be done the way they are used too. Mixed couples has to be more sensitive and more willing to find out what their partner think and want to do. What do you think about that? How do you want to do this? should be commonly asked questions in a mixed couple’s everyday life.

So the key phrases that give mixed couples an advantage to succeed with their relationship are:

-Not take things for granted.
-More sensitive and more willing to accept differences.
-Love and respect your partner the way she/he is.

These three phrases can be successfully used by any couple, mixed or not mixed. But the awareness and motivation has to be higher already from the start in the mixed couple.

The most delicate issue a mixed couple will have to deal with is how to raise your children.
Everything you learned in your own childhood, by your father and mother, has shaped your view upon how to raise a child. It will all come out when you get your own children. It doesn’t matter how many books you read, because your own childhood is there, in your spine. Having children can be a tough job. Little sleep and lots of worries will temporarily take you down to a level where skills you got from a book has vanished and the spine knowledge will kick in. You may hear yourself say and do things you never believed you would say, and you will hear yourself sound like your mother and father.

Therefore there are questions you must take up with your partner before you have children. The questions are; how were you raised and how do you want to raise and discipline your children.

These questions are of course relevant to a not mixed couple too.

When I started this Blog I had a vision to make the world more peaceful by teaching the world how mixed couples were successful in overcoming differences. I saw how mixed couples could be symbols as bridge builders over ethnic borders.

A nice vision but I’m not sure I believe in it anymore.
But before I bury my vision I want to know what you think about it?

Do mixed couples fight less then not mixed couples?